k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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