I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize