It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
