i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize