is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
