I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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