You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
Randomize
