So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize