are you still at the devil's house?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
