For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
