wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
