I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
Randomize
