My room smells like vodka and shame
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
