if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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