i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I'm currently making some changes in my life. If you don't hear from me anymore, then you're probably one of them. Or I'm dead.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
