Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
