Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
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