I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I have fence marks all over my body
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
