i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Randomize
