omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize