Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
