3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
