I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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