im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
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