When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
