I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Randomize
