Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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