Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
