if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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