guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
should my penis look like a turkey
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
