I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
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