I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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