im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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