Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
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