Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Just took my morning after pill in the library
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
