so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
