I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
You pole danced in your parka.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Randomize
