don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Randomize
