i just had sex bonerless
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
