I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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