his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
