whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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