He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
my drunk uncle just explained that turkeys are not gentle lovers... and no context doesn't make it better.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
