I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
