At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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