I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Randomize
