I've blown a few things in my day
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
