I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
