bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
you made cordon bleu at 4am and declared you were Marshall Stewart
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
