there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Randomize
