yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
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