you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
