If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize