i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
