you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
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