and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
