Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
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