I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
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