we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
