Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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