matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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