Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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