I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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