You just made me feel so damn special
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
Sext me about skeletons
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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