so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
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