i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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