so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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