Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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