ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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