You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize