I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
