So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
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