Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
