Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
