she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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