He is like the real live version of the state fair..
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
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