just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
